She was alone and had just come back from shopping. She probably had plans for the rest of the day. But in a split second, she finds herself on the road in an odd position. She was hit by a motorcycle. She remained unconscious for the longest time and then she started to cry..

I did not see it happening because the bus was blocking. I only heard something that sounded like car rolling over hard plastic. While I crossing the road, avoiding cars and covering my nose from inhaling the fumes, I stood on the divider just like everyone else, and saw her. I could not bring my eyes to look at her. I kept on darting my eyes back and forth. Hoping it was not real. I can not erase the image from my mind. I had a great urge to approach her and help her. There were passerby's crowding around her and helping here but they were all men. My legs brought me halfway across the street but I went straight to the other side. I could not do it. I was so scared and shocked. I remember calling out to God to help her, because I could not. And the guilt that I felt after that was unbearable. I just walked away..hoping and praying she will be alright.

I know I could not have done much, but I could have given her comfort. To let her know that people are helping her and to just assure her, she will be okay. But I couldn't.

I am still in shock because all this happened in such a short time. It happened while I was thinking of dodging cars and covering my nose from the fumes. It happened while I was rushing to get to the other station to meet my dad. I am a strong believer that things happen for a reason, but one thing I don't understand is why things happen to innocent people. It never matched. 

All I can do now, is pray for her.

It's been a long while since I've said anything here. Can't even remember what my last post was. Anyhoo, today was a bit of a bummer..emotions got all caught up. No falling of the tears or sudden outburst, but just a combination of both guilt and what nots.

money is the root of all evil.

The above statement is related to how I feel by the way.

I really wish there was something I could do to help. I know what not to do, so that's a good start right? If only from the beginning, I did things right. Too late for regrets now.

This semester of Uni isn't the best. Trying to make the best out of me last year, but I think I took it too far.

4 weeks to finals.
5 weeks to home.

Needs your hug.

An amazing second chinese new year day it has been. From lunch at home, to visiting houses in one of the most hottest days ever, to dinner celebrating Popo's birthday and being Karaoke-entertained by my comical cousins. My heart was swelling when we were all outside the restaurant saying our goodbyes, hugging all the cousins and Popo. It was a good feeling, enjoyed every single moment.

And my baby cousin, Kystina, is so adorable I want to take her home. She's such a kissy toddler! She just wants to kiss everybody and after that, she'll tell you, you are 'wangi', meaning, you smell good. Even when you honestly don't. haha. Shooo cute. Amagard.

Can't believe Chinese New Year celebration is over :(

Time to get back to reality. Uni starts next week!!! Amadublegard! Boo.

I hope I can find it in myself to ask..and get it over and done with..

And again, I decided to change my layout of me blog just to emphasize the fact that Cassandra Lee is fickle minded and indecisive. Anyhoohah, it's Chinese New Year, year of the Tiger!!! Roaaaarrrrrr! Been practicing that roar recently, think I'm getting better at it. But everytime I say it out loud, it sounds like I'm about to sing Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. which, I am starting to love. 

So, this new year reminds me of last new year, which would have been perfect..if not for the passing of Spike. And yes, I'm still not quite over it. Thinking about his death saddens me and somewhere deep inside, I haven't really accepted it. Keep reminiscing the exact moment when I reached home..I can remember everything so vividly..But yeah, I miss him loads.

Internship was a great experience, no doubt. Am glad I decided to try it out with the help of a friend. I think I may roll that way in the future? I question myself cause I donchreally know. We'll see next year. So jyeah, guess I'll hit the sack now. Got a whole day of family bonding session tmr and the day after.

Gong Hei Fatt Choi!!!!

So I'm going through my college pile of books and papers and I found some interesting things I wrote back then. I think it was for english class where we had to come up with a poem based on two themes, either betrayal or discrimination. I think it was because we were studying a play about a man who cheated on his whole family and all that. The main character was some guy called Willy Loman or something like that. Anyyway, so this is what I came up with..as a son to a father.

Everytime you came in through that door,
My heart would jump up with glee,
Your briefcase would fall to the floor,
As I felt safe with you hugging me

I was the apple of your eye,
and you were someone I looked up to,
You taught me that it was ok for a man to cry
-

But all that changed, when I found out about a woman called Shirley,
I hurled hurtful words at you,
Since then you rarely came home early
-

lol.. that was for the betrayal theme

This is for discrimination

Black and white, dark and light,
In the name of colour we fight,
have we gotten to the level of being shallow,
to differentiate man who are brown or yellow?

we don't deserve to be called by colour,
nobody gave anyone that much power


That's all I wrote. Lol I honestly can't remember writing any of it. Gah, ok thought I'd share my talent. (hah!) Back to spring cleaning!

Something that made my day, and hopefully something that will make my everyday..

'Reward for holding on: Don't focus on today's suffering, but wait for tomorrow's blessings'